The Inventor Leader

THE INVENTOR LEADER

There are four leadership subtypes in the TALK2ME© positive and effective communication system.  Of the four – Inventor, Seer, Intuiter, Leader – do you know which you are?

In my leadership development studies, I found that the INVENTOR leader was the most powerful producer of positive results. Everything we see – from the light bulb, to computers, to psychotherapy – is the large-minded innovation of an Inventor leader.  Thomas Edison, Bill Gates, and Sigmund Freud are all Inventor leaders, but from far different fields.

WHAT ARE THE INNER STRENGTHS OF THE INVENTOR LEADER?

Inventor leaders want to cut to the chase. They are true visionaries with the ability to magnify results and take action when others are chewing their fingernails or sitting on their hands. Inventors have the uncanny ability to find the diamonds in a rock-strewn canyon. Key characteristics which Inventor leaders share:

INVENTOR LEADERS:

▪ ARE VISIONARY. You envision the next great leap which is necessary to create a higher level of success. You see when the world needs an improved light bulb or laptop, and you aren’t afraid to make it happen. You utilize the key help of the super-motivated souls with whom you surround yourself.

▪ ARE MASTER CREATORS. What you see in your innovative mind is quickly formed, expeditiously created from the vision in your mind’s eye. Your mind is like a powerful broadcasting station that sends out requests which are quickly answered by the universe. You’re accustomed to your mental powers, but others are awed when you envision a future reality that, by today’s standards, might seem like science fiction.

▪ ARE CHARASMATIC. You can’t help being a “people charmer,” though you might claim that you are not. People tune in to your station, listening carefully to your viewpoints, internalizing them and often repeating them as their own.  People like to love you. This is a little hard for you to fully comprehend because you measure yourself harshly. If you are in an oppositional relationship, you shrug it off, hardly missing a beat.

▪ ARE MAJOR MOOD MAKERS OR MOOD BREAKERS. Because your mood is infectious, you are a major mood-maker. You can make people feel good or bad, although you contend that every person is responsible for his or her own feelings. You can bring people up by using carefully crafted words, or, with nothing more than a skeptical glance, you can squash the self-esteem of another like a bug underfoot. Yes, you do have that kind of interpersonal power.

▪ CREATE SIGNIFICANT RESULTS. You rarely create outcomes or events that are average or mediocre. You either do “A” or “F” work, but never “C” work in the field of your passions and with your family. What you create is either extremely positive or extremely negative, and your results are typically big-time. The Creation Equation: When you are in a good mood or are confident, your results are positive. But, when you are in a bad mood or feel insecure, results are negative.

▪ ACTIVATE THE INNER POWER OF OTHERS. Why do others love to work for you? You push people hard to go way beyond their self-imposed boundaries to achieve new heights. To be around you, all talents must be tuned up. Your people will be pleasantly surprised that they are able to achieve levels of performance they had only imagined, before they began interacting with you. And they do have you to thank for pushing them outside their comfort zones, which they now know could easily have become their coffins.

▪ ARE MASTER LOGICIANS. You are the master of the meta-message. Often, what you don’t say but what you imply carries more weight in the minds of those you seek to influence. Thus, you gently lead others to the conclusions and impressions you wish to convey to them. If so inclined, you could be the wizard of propaganda.

▪ DOMINATE DECISIONS. You are quite able to convince others that your way is the best way to go. You can be perceived as intimidating and overpowering through the tool of conversational coercion. However, you feel you know what’s best for the group as a whole and only have the good of all at heart.

▪ STRUGGLE WITH INTERPERSONAL CLOSENESS. Your life partner may perceive you as backing up or putting the brakes on when he or she is trying to get close to you by using effective communication. When confronted, you will go to your island to cool off. You intensely dislike being pushed to talk about vulnerable emotions or past mistakes, as you see this as a sign of weakness and a big waste of time. Your partner disagrees.

▪ HAVE STROKES OF GENIUS AND SEIZURES OF INSECURITY. Life is a two-sided communicator coin of both positive and negative life challenges.  Chances are, as a child you might have been reared by a tyrant parent who was controlling, belittling, moody, strict, or harsh. As a result, you set the pole vaulting bar very high for yourself, and you loathe failing or being put under anyone’s thumb. Perhaps those tough foundational times of loss vs. gain are the fuel for your strokes of genius.

You may have noticed that not every statement above fits you nicely, like hand in glove. However, many of these insights ought to ring true for you as an Inventor leader. I also know what you’re thinking. “Yes, but, what about the negative side of the coin? This is all fluffy and comfy, but it doesn’t capture the facts of my personal relationship life.” And of course, you’re right again.

Men and Women Communicating

The usefulness of the TALK2ME system in improving relationship communication is unmatched. What one husband and community leader had to say about understanding the different viewpoints of Empathizer and Instigator communicators to promote conflict-free communication with his wife…

DOC,

I always knew there was something missing in my understanding of personalities. The best explanation that I was able to craft was to an analogy of men in the old West, i.e., that there are two types of men: the ones that rode horses and the ones that rode stagecoaches.

After my initial consultation with you and subsequently reading the information contained in your website, my eyes have been opened, and clarity of thought now prevails.

Dr. O’Grady, you have been able to define and explain the missing elements of what I’ve been trying to figure out. I’ve studied many of the greats, Zig Ziglar, Dale Carnegie, Jackie Cooper, Joe Verde, and others. I’ve bought their tapes, attended their seminars, and developed communication strategies following their outlines, but none of these great motivators and teachers has ever unlocked the basic human psychological traits in such a manner as you and in such a way that is so meaningful.

Learning word tracts and/or altering word tracts to fit my individual personality is OK, but I believe that understanding the personality traits of the person I’m dealing with is far more valuable, which for the first time, I now understand in ways that previously had me mystified.

I’ll be in touch, as I want to see if we can arrange to get you in front of our men’s ministry to do a seminar or two.

To begin understanding men and women communicating better, simply download this free discussion of your communication style and preferences http://www.drogrady.com/ttm_optin.php

About TALK2ME©

Dennis O’Grady delivers TALK2ME© effective communication workshops that provide a Communication Toolbox full of positive communication tools, to executive, managerial, and supervisory groups, to set people up for success. He also uses the TALK2ME system with his private, relationship communications-training clients. Dr. O’Grady is known as the “Talk Doc” since the advent of his positive and effective communication system, TALK2ME. He is past president of the Dayton Psychological Association, founder of New Insights Communication, and is a clinical professor at the Wright State University School of Professional Psychology. His talk textbook, TALK TO ME: Communication Moves to Get Along With Anyone, received the 2008 Axiom Business Book Award Silver Medal. Please feel free to contact New Insights Communication at 937.428-0724 to set up a time to speak with Dr. O’Grady. Your questions and inquiries are welcomed.

State Your Communication Intentions?

Why state your communication intentions to your beloved life partner of many decades? While life is difficult, love is amazing. Even with boatloads of trouble or other serious issues or walls built, still-in-love couples can tear down the walls and build something anew. But how to accomplish this communication feat? And what shall we co-create that is positive? You can get out of communication ruts with a little help from the Talk2Me© positive and effective communication system, which works like a lucky charm, whether you want it to or not.

STONEWALLING

When trust is broken, everything falls apart, and things don’t go well. Arguing between two loving partners is a red flag that there is too much loneliness, and a stone wall (ergo, stonewalling) with only one small plexiglass window has been erected. One loving husband who was married 46 years, but in love 49 years, said it well.

Instigator Talk: He described how the couple had fallen on tough times, and their love tested by fire….

We’ve been in love since we were young kids. I shut her out of my life, and she, in turn, locked the door to hers. The hurt has to be dealt with, and then eventually the why must be addressed. I spend hours at work, and she spends hours on the computer. We isolate ourselves on an island, going hard daylight to dark. Our kids are grown, and now it’s our turn…but we don’t know how to turn to one another and just to talk.

The couple goals were: To love…To talk…To be close…To get back together…To enjoy one another.

WRITE A DISSERTATION OF LOVE

If you don’t experience your love, does your love still exist? Yes, but you’re going have trouble believing in it. So that’s why you focus on your intentions to co-create…

  • Peace
  • Enjoyment of life
  • Healed hurts
  • Surplus respect
  • Joy
  • Emotional closeness
  • Good communication
  • Actions to remove resentments
  • Strategies to remove wedges that push us apart
  • Ways to mourn our losses together
  • Approaches to change what we can
  • Acceptance of what we can’t change
  • A blueprint to be best friends to one another
  • Deep trust
  • A happy partner

Nobody holds a candle next to the two of you!

FAMILY CLIMATE CONTROL

What emotional climate would you like to create in your marriage, family, or home? Find out by answering these queries:

1. What do you intend to create in your relationship?

2. Do you drive while under the influence of intoxicating negative emotions? (How do you allow your emotional chain to be pulled?)

3. Why do you rise to the bait of an unproductive argument with a child or teen?

4. Why do you push the buttons of your partner by complaining and sounding glum? (Who feels lonely for you and is waiting for things to improve?)

5. How do you break the chain reaction of behaving like the very people who have hurt you?

6. What does “Complaining is only human, but coming up with a solution is divine!” mean to you?

7. Why can’t you teach old dogs new tricks? (Is your plan for change in writing?)

So, count the ways you can make yourself and your partner happy. Unleash your love! By using the Talk2Me© system to focus on solving communication problems instead of repeating them, we can truly value the no nonsense way we can all talk productively around the Communicator Table.

ABOUT “TALK DOC” DENNIS O’GRADY, PSY.D.Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a clinical psychologist, a communication and relationship expert, and a corporate consultant in areas such as leadership development. Dr. O’Grady is the developer of the Talk2Me communication system, which is central to business innovation through using positive and effective communication tools.

Dayton Miami Valley Safety Council–Road Rage

I had the honor and pleasure of speaking to 250 members of the Dayton Miami Valley Safety Council on the topic of Road Rage. An outline of the training content…

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF ROAD RAGE
Dennis E. O’Grady, PsyD, Clinical Psychologist

1. HEALTHY VS. UNHEALTHY ANGER

Is anger an emotion or behavior, or both?

2. THE ANGER SPECTRUM

Irritation…aggravation…frustration…ANGER…rage.

3. HOW DO YOU DEFINE RAGE?
rage n

1.  sudden and extreme anger, or an outburst of strong anger
2.  something that is the object of a short-lived fascination
3.  extreme or unrelenting intensity
4.  a strong and sometimes overpowering desire or enthusiasm
5.  to speak or do something with sudden, extreme anger, or feel such strong anger
2.  to occur, continue, move, or spread with great force and violence
Encarta® World English Dictionary © 1999

4. PSYCHOLOGY OF CHANGE DEFINITION—REACTING IN A KNEE-JERK FASHION WITHOUT EMPATHY

“Road rage” is a slick and tricky mental magic act and a racy misnomer. It’s more accurate to call it “human rage,” since it’s unhealthy anger directed at human beings, not roads made of concrete or asphalt.

Anger management coaching typically produces positive changes within 2-3 sessions.

5. WHAT IS THE PSYCHOLOGICAL PROFILE OF THE AGGRESSIVE DRIVER WHO IS DRIVEN TO GET AHEAD AT ANY COST?

•    Massive personal insecurity…winning is everything
•    Feeling like a failure…can’t tolerate getting behind in the race of life
•    Prideful ego: “Are you going to let them get away with that?”
•    Self-defeating belief that venting anger is always good
•    Difficulty relaxing
•    Doesn’t enjoy the ride enough…focuses on final outcome/destination
•    Fear of emotions: Prefers putting mind over emotional matters
•    Fault-shifting: Plays the “It’s not my fault!” blame and shame show
•    Drags along old suitcases filled with rusty resentments
•    “Reactive anger” is triggered by sad feelings, disappointment, and loss
•    Prone to fear disapproval: “You’re not good enough unless you’re accomplishing the perfect!”
•    When hot under the collar, thinks the golden rule is for chumps
•    Fails to remember: “Trying too hard to get even will distract you and quickly put you behind!”

6. WHO’S IN THE DRIVER’S SEAT OF YOUR LIFE?

Your communicator type of Empathizer or Instigator communicator often predicts how well you will drive in the TALK2ME© positive and effective communication system. To find out your type and receive a free report, check out… http://www.drogrady.com/type.php

7. WHAT CAN YOU DO?

•    Manage your mood
•    Be in the driver’s seat of your life
•    Learn how Empathizer drivers drive differently from Instigator drivers
•    Use positive self-talk to keep you “on purpose”
•    Imagine a loved one in the seat of the other metal can
•    Distract yourself with comedy stations or a self-growth CD
•    Patience is a virtue, while impatience is a vulture
•    Remember: anger is simply an emotion, NOT a stupid knee-jerk reaction

TALK TIPS TO USE FOR COMMUNICATING SAFETY…

1.

2.

3.

For a good overview of Road Rage go to this Wikipedia link.

About the Speaker

Dennis O’Grady delivers TALK2ME© effective communication workshops that provide a Communication Toolbox full of positive communication tools, to executive, managerial, and supervisory groups, to set people up for success. He also uses the TALK2ME system with his private, relationship communications-training clients. Dr. O’Grady is known as the “Talk Doc” since the advent of his positive and effective communication system, TALK2ME. He is past president of the Dayton Psychological Association, founder of New Insights Communication, and is a clinical professor at the Wright State University School of Professional Psychology. His talk textbook, TALK TO ME: Communication Moves to Get Along With Anyone, received the 2008 Axiom Business Book Award Silver Medal. Please feel free to contact New Insights Communication at 937.428-0724 to set up a time to speak with Dr. O’Grady. Your questions and inquiries are welcomed.

Empathizer Leaders

In the TALK2ME© system, Instigator leaders are hard-driving and focused on achieving target goals rapidly. Empathizer leaders, on the other hand, are focused but take more time to develop goal strategies. Empathizer leaders look before they leap, while Instigator leaders will first leap and then try to fix their mistakes. Both leaders are equally talented, just in different ways.

WHAT ARE KEY TRAITS OF EMPATHIZER (E-TYPE) LEADERS?

In order to be considered an Empathizer-type communicator:

1. You absolutely have to be a good listener.

2. You have to understand what the problem is by working collaboratively with the individual person who has the problem.

3. Your leadership style mandates that there has to be a buy-in from all team members to arrive at the best solution – no dictating of how to solve the problem or nixing the solution that is chosen.

4. You believe that communication is a shared responsibility. It has to be a two-way street – no monopolizing the Communicator Table. Open discussion of the presenting concern is mandatory.

5. You need regular affirmation of your achievements through commendations, acknowledgements, and positive feedback.

6. You relate to the world through your feelings. Your emotions run deep as the ocean.

7. Your leadership style involves researching the problem at hand to find as many possible solutions as possible, then you debate those options around the Communicator Table to select the one which will reach the goal that’s been set.

8. You try to please too much; you back down too frequently; you are too much of a perfectionist; you are too generous; you are patient to a fault; you are afraid of conflict.

9. You freely pass out compliments and show appreciation for ideas and work ethic, making a big difference in promoting involvement by all team members.

10. You never point your finger. If a person comes up with a problem-solving idea, he doesn’t feel like they’re out on a limb all alone, which builds confidence in your individual team members and the team as a whole.

Hard driving Instigator leaders can sometimes be misperceived as impatient tyrants or bully bosses. Relationship-driven Empathizer leaders, and their “New Communication School” skill sets, are increasingly in demand to smooth out troubled waters that stem from mergers and other organizational changes.

Dennis O’Grady is a Dayton clinical psychologist and developer of the results-driven TALK2ME positive and effective communication system. Dennis can be reached at (937) 428-0724.