The Listening Bridge

THE LISTENING BRIDGE

You are at the center of the world when it comes to being a confident and competent communicator. So, how do you build a “listening bridge” to safely speed travel between yourself and your talk partner, as you move on down on the two-way communicator highway? Recent workshop participants provided these tips…

1. Respect is spelled LISTEN.

2. A little effort is often all it takes to maintain good relationship communication at home and at work.

3. Even though someone doesn’t respond to your idea, it doesn’t mean it’s a bad idea. Don’t take the non-response to your idea personally.

4. Listen…Listen…LISTEN. Don’t make a snap judgment or premature decision before you hear the entire thought.

5. R-E-S-P-E-C-T = LISTEN.

6. Confidence and competence matter equally in trusting communication.

7. Don’t let perceptions get in the way of getting things done!

8. Trust and respect flow from the hub of internal communication…down the spokes to others in the company…and out to your external customers.

9. Go to meetings with an open mind and give each person around the Communicator Table time to ask questions or to respond to the new idea. And if they don’t respond, don’t let it hurt your feelings or inhibit future presentations of your ideas. Don’t take it all to heart.

10. Be more understanding of both sides – Empathizer and Instigator – in order to forge an alliance and accommodate needs. Meet in the middle of the Communicator Table to co-develop strategies which will result in improved results that astonish everyone.

11. Treat everybody the way you would like to be treated!

You are at the center of the communication bridge, building rapport, trust, and connections to boost a bummer mood and nurture confidence. Old bridges start to crumble when maintenance isn’t performed on a regular basis. So, too, is the case with communication – you must inspect your interactions with family, friends, and co-workers on a routine basis, just to make certain that your communication is still as strong and dependable as it was on the day you began using the Talk2Me© system.

Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a Dayton family psychologist who teaches confidence-building mood management relationship communication tools. Phone: 937-428-0724.

Talk-Team Mood

TALK-TEAM MOOD

What’s the mood tone of your team at work? Grumpy, frazzled, sad, apprehensive, glad? Teams who talk about moods consciously boost output. You, too, are a mood-maker or a mood-breaker. The choice is yours.

STRENGTHS WHICH SET THE MOOD OF AN A-1 TEAM

I worked with one team which acknowledged their individual and collective strengths. The following list illustrates how this loss-experienced team stood shoulder-to-shoulder to create the mood of their team. Talk-Team Mood demonstrated…

  • Multiple personality expertise
  • A “My door is half-open” vs. “My door is half-closed” attitude
  • Multi-cultural appreciators
  • Mentoring empowerment
  • Being an informational hub
  • That all people are unique Empathizer or Instigator communicators
  • Role modeling positive attitudes during defeat
  • Supporting others by allowing dumping of feelings without dumping on others
  • Spreading around a Mood of Trust
  • Humorous dedication…dedication to using humor to relieve stress
  • Getting a grip on differing viewpoints without driving a wedge
  • Problem-fixers and change-experts
  • Minding the Mood Store…don’t spread around a bad mood like manure
  • Being flexible dressers: Wear different hats during the day
  • Being accomplishers who get the “to do” list (DO)NE
  • How to make everyone on the team feel important
  • How to help anyone up who has been knocked down
  • Being great Calmers of Apprehensions
  • Following the Fairness Doctrine (Do as I do, not as I say you should do.)
  • Applying the Golden Rule
  • Being fearless: Don’t fear change…March off the map into the unknown
  • An atmosphere of encouragement to be A Bringer of Peace
  • Guts galore: “I’ll go to bat for you.”
  • Unifiers: “Let’s connect tunnels to the silos and not be so self-absorbed”
  • How to Listen Up: Take the pulse…Listen…Put your listening ears on…Be flexible…Collaborate for change
  • Going the extra mile with a smile on
  • Volunteerism: A good work ethic
  • Open-mindedness: “We’re just here to talk” attitude
  • Who’s #1: “We’re all 1-team!”
  • “Hands on” support for different types of people
  • Provide supportive…safe…sacred space
  • How to Navigate the Mood of The Organization
  • Being a good sport: “I’ll be back…” movie impersonations
  • Being People Lovers
  • Being cultural integrationists
  • “Less butt touches on chairs…” AKA don’t waste customer time
  • Customer Focus: “Make it easy…quick…painless…appreciated”
  • Ways to reduce friction and frustration wherever you go
  • How to relieve disheartenment by spreading around a Mood of Hope
  • Always using courtesy and respect, no matter what you’re getting back
  • Valor: “We live these values because this is who we truly are.…”
  • Simplification: Get back to what’s working when what you’re doing isn’t working
  • Being a strong Pillar of Honest and Effective Communication
  • Devotion
  • Putting salve on a pervasive sense of loss and grief

Do you use strength-focused Mood Talk to make the best lemonade out of bad times that ordinarily put you in a sour mood? I’ll bet you do, using Mood Management Tools.

TEAM UP USING A GOOD MOOD

Team Drive is impacted by intersecting organizational issues such as:

► staffing

► budgetary constraints

► integration of departments

► effective communication regarding change

► mood

You can choose your mood. Mood spelled backwards spells D-O-O-M…but only if you allow it to.

Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a Dayton psychologist, family business consultant and marriage counselor. Dr. O’Grady can be reached at (937) 428-0724.

Who Owns Your Mood?

WHO OWNS YOUR MOOD?

Here’s a steady mood affirmation to remind you that you are more in charge of your mood than you might believe you are…

MY MIND IS MY OWN

My mind is my own

I own my own mind

I close my mind to negative influences

I open my mind to positive influences

The gold mine of my mind, I mine for my success

Written by Dr. Dennis O’Grady who is a Dayton psychologist, couples counseling expert, and Life Coach in Effective Communication. New Insights Communication: (937) 428-0724

Mom’s and/or Dad’s Sunday Moods

MOM’S and/or DAD’S SUNDAY MOODS

Do women have more bad moods than men do? Depends on who you talk to. In the TALK2ME© world of Empathizer vs. Instigator communicator planets, moods aren’t a female-male thing, or a dad-mom thing, or a parent-teen thing, or a doctor-nurse thing, but a human condition. A cosmic joke told by a higher power, perhaps?

What are mood indicators? Wouldn’t it be helpful if there were a color code bar on the shoulder – red for mad, blue for the blues, purple for peaceful – so you could read the mood of another without using words? That’s how the Talk2Me© system can help you serenely drive around congested traffic patterns on the communication highway.

GATHERING BAD MOODS AROUND YOU?

Well, here are real life clues from family members that your mood, whether you’re a dad or a mom, is being spread around like a poison infesting clear communication waters…

·            Not very communicative/talkative

·            Talk is more like a quiz than a conversation

·            Never sure what will set off anger

·            Inappropriate degree/amount of anger; i.e. furious over something minor

·            Misdirection of anger; i.e. handles major things, then blows up at little things

·            Saying something is never enough

·            Having mood meltdowns and making others take a guilt trip

·            Personally experience feelings, or feel “energy field vibrations,” that repel like an electric fence

Do you treat others at work to the best or worst of your mood? When you come home, do you drag a bad mood with you?

ONLY ONE RIGHT WAY — MY WAY

In my research, Empathizers were shown to more likely take on the bad moods of others, while Instigators are more likely to incite or spread a bad mood around to others. Either way, your mood is your business to profit by. Bad moods are spread due to close-minded mind trips such as “It’s my way or the highway” or “You must think, feel, do, and say as I do or there will be there will be way too much to pay….”

Dennis O’Grady is a Dayton psychologist, family therapist and couple counselor. New Insights Communication: (937) 428-0724.

Mood As An Attitude Of Success

MOOD AS AN ATTITUDE OF SUCCESS

Mood is a potent brew of immense emotions mixed with intense attitudes that help or hinder motivation. What mood as an attitude of success is at the core of your organizational mind, driving customer service in the heart of your people and team spirit?

MOOD MANAGEMENT

You weren’t born in a bad mood. You don’t have to stay in a bad mood. A health-focused “It’s not Me, It’s Them!” Mood Management class divined these ultimate “core values of success”…

  • FLEXIBILITY
  • ACTION
  • OPTIMISM
  • A SENSE OF INNER-CALM

You can set the “mood tone” and the “mood tempo” of your team at work. Believe it.

ATTITUDES OF A SUCCESSFUL MOOD

Here are positive attitudes the Mood Management class decided create a positive mood, which inspires positive results for everyone with whom you come into contact….

  • Altruistic
  • Dare to Care
  • Doer
  • Golden Rule Follower
  • Change-Expert
  • Get ‘Er Done
  • Love People
  • Take on Challenges
  • Appreciate Variety
  • Emotions Appropriately Expressed
  • Passionate about Fixing Wounds
  • Love Customers
  • Pass on Empowerment Attitudes
  • Be a Fast-Paced Junkie
  • Increase Your Skills in Little Ways Every Day
  • Excel: BE Excel(lent)
  • Supportive
  • Speak Language of Opposite Communicator Type
  • Change-Minded
  • Positivity
  • Not Dwelling on What You Cannot Change
  • Excel: BE Excel(lent)
  • Hopeful

MOOD TOOLS2USE

Our leaders use Mood Tools throughout their day. Excelling Leaders who boost (not bust) moods at work – AND who pass along a positive attitude – describe the mood tools they display in the workplace….

  • ASSUME RESPONSIBILITY
  • BE PASSIONATE…ENTHUSIASTIC…EXPRESSIVE
  • GO WITH THE FLOW
  • CALMING…DON’T GET TOO WOUND UP
  • PERSEVERING…FORGE THROUGH OBSTACLES
  • HAPPY…ALWAYS LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE
  • BE FLEXIBLE & ADAPTABLE
  • SUNNY: UPBEAT & POSITIVE
  • CALM…LAID BACK
  • EVER-CHANGING EXPECTATIONS DON’T STRESS YOU OUT
  • FLOWING: ROLL WITH IT
  • FABULOUS:  But, YOU DON’T HAVE TO FEEL GOOD ALL THE TIME
  • INTENSE: GET ‘ER DONE SPIRIT
  • PROBLEM SOLVING EMOTIONS-MINDED
  • DEPENDABLE IN SPEECH: WALK THE TALK

IT’S NOT ME, IT’S THEM vs. IT’S NOT THEM, IT’S ME

Personal growth comes from taking responsibility for your moods, attitudes, and actions. Managing your own life’s mood is the best use of your energy. For example, want a job with our health team? Then, as a new hire you need to exhibit a “good mood” of being flexible (not rigid), action focused (not passive), optimistic (not pessimistic), and have a sense of inner-calm (not a drama tornado). Can you keep your cool during raging mood storms? I know you can, through steady practice.

PUTTING YOURSELF IN A HOPEFUL MOOD

Can you choose your mood? (More than you think you can.) In what mood do you strive to put yourself to start your day? (You greet the day glad to have another chance to love and learn and excel.) Your mood infuses YOU and OTHERS with hopefulness or helplessness.

Dennis O’Grady is a Mood Coach and couple counseling psychologist who resides in Dayton, Ohio. New Insights Communication: (937) 428-0724.